笑話集

<div style="text-align: center;"><font style="color: rgb(68, 85, 166);" size="4"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><font style="color: DarkOrange; font-weight: bold;" size="5"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">笑話集</span></font></font><br><font style="color: rgb(68, 85, 166);" size="4"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br>（ 網路文章 ）</span></font><br><font style="color: rgb(68, 85, 166);" size="4"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></font></div><font style="color: rgb(68, 85, 166);" size="4"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br><br><br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">一戶農家明天殺雞，晚上餵雞時 說：「快吃吧，這是你最後一頓！」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">第二天見雞已躺平並留遺書：</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「我已吃老鼠藥，你們也別想吃我，我他媽也不是好惹 的！」 <br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">醫生來到一家餐廳吃飯，正點菜，發現服務生總是下意 識地摸屁股，</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">便關切地問道：「有痔瘡嗎？」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">服務生指了指菜單說：「請您點菜單裡有的菜好嗎？」 <br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">有個人第一次在市場上賣冰棒，他不好意思叫賣，突然 旁邊有一個人正高聲喊：</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「賣冰棒」， 他只好喊道：「我也是。」 <br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">甲：「為什麼母雞的腿這麼短？」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">乙：「笨蛋！如果母雞的腿長了，那麼下蛋時，蛋不就 全部摔破了嗎？！」 <br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">一個學了多年英文都學不好的學生，經過長久的努力，</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">終於學會了hello以及通順的將26個英文字母唸 完整。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">很高興的在街上攔住一個外國人，緩緩跟他說：</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「 Hello!ABCDEFG.............Z 」 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">那個外國人瞪大了眼睛，張大了嘴聽他一字一字唸完， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">好不容易回過神，他鎮定了自己的情緒後，調整一下自 己的微笑， </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">清清喉嚨緩緩的跟這個學生說：</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">「你好！ ㄅㄆ ㄇㄈㄉㄊㄋㄌ .....」<br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">一個遊客乘著出租車出遊。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">半路上他拍拍司機的肩膀，想問一件事，沒想到嚇得司 機哇哇亂叫。 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">他抱歉道：「啊，對不起，沒想到會嚇著你。」 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">司機道：「沒關係，小小的誤會。我今天剛開出租車，</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">過去我一直是開靈櫃車的。」<br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">期中考出了一題翻譯。</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">『子在川上曰：逝者如斯夫，不捨晝 夜......... 』 </span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">老師改完稿考卷，很嚴肅的說：我們有個人寫 ........</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">『死去的那個人好像是我的丈夫，白天晚上看起來都很 像...』<br><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">阿忠：「你救過多少個人啊？」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">救生員：「無數個...其中有一個還成為了我的老 婆.....」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">阿忠：「有何感想？」</span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">救生員：「她的人生浮起來了，我的人生沈下去了。」 <img smilieid="57" src="http://www.amituofohouse.org/images/smilies/jumpsmile.gif" border="0"></span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br style="font-family: Verdana;"><br style="font-family: Verdana;"></font>